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Dr. Jackass and Mr. High


I particularly like the smell of my first cup of coffee at work. There are fumes of opportunity and eagerness. The first sip of coffee accompanied by the whimsical aroma of optimism stretches a smile on the face. It makes you want to close your eyes and believe in a world full of possibilities and productivity. You can see huge machines with whirling contraptions, churning out new inventions. This world is new and quite different from the one you live in. What is same is your imagination of a world. And it’s always beautiful. There are green pastures, trees, herds of animals, fences, people wearing hats and a crow somewhere. The machines work in harmony with nature. There is absolute silence. And then you can open your eyes.
I always believe that a world this positive can be made and nurtured. It is only a matter of determination and concentration. On things that matter and not on unnecessary distractions. It is only when one deviates from the concept of progress does he get influenced by activities that can turn dangerous and in some cases, heinous.
As I sip the rest of my coffee and walk towards mediocrity and boredom, I find strength in a breath of fresh air. With a minor intoxication material in one hand, the other moves towards the mouth to pour in more optimism. My eyes wander to find beauty, brilliance, growth and prosperity. They are in return greeted by shame, filth, gore and ugliness. The other hand now helps in putting a table cloth on my thoughts and understanding. It puts certain condiments on top namely wealth, happiness, love and satisfaction. 
I move my body back towards responsibilities and function. I have now been successful in making it completely trained to a certain way of working. It has now adapted to routine and tradition. It obeys the instructions and acts according to the task been assigned. I am very pleased to tell you that now my eye has the ability to not blink, increasing my scope of learning and observation.
Well I think it is time to retire the mind for activities of a more humble nature. The sky has changed to a specific dark shade of blue. My body feels a tiny quiver throughout. It feels as though something in me is changing.
 
*
 
Sons of bitches! Rats! Fucking gutter rats all of you! It’s quite easy to make statements and act in accordance with the rules of the society when the society is cordial and partial to your segments. Yes I know all of you. You’re going to become slaves of corporate greed and die living your monotonous miserable mind-numbing lives. Calling me names!
No wait I’m sorry. Oh I’m so sorry I completely lost my mind. I have lost it somewhere in the deep pasts of my own disgusting slumber. It's hiding somewhere deep, running away from me. Making me blind and flimsy. How would I understand what my vision has to offer, if I do not have a mind to tell me what the bloody hell it is? What is it? Tell me! You can’t keep teasing me for long. I will bring my thoughts alive. Don’t you remember? I’ve trained it. I can do it!
Is anybody even listening? Yeah I get it. This is where speech leaves focus and strength. It is no longer engaging enough nor producing any value. Now it is just shameful, filthy, gory, ugly.  
Must think hard. Must concentrate and bring to consciousness the state of utter uniformity. I do recognise this place but I have forgotten my identity. There must be a particular reason for my presence here or if what I see in front of me is really the reality. Am I not the same person anymore? Or is the same person not there anymore? I do understand I’m alone.
Somebody take me home please. It is right around the corner I believe. I think two blocks to the left. Yeah right there. Could you please help me with this bag? I have hurt my shoulder and knees. Thank you so much. Hey I think I know you. I’ve heard a lot about you. You must surely be hope. I’ve heard that you are always there somewhere, waiting for a pathetic somewhat like me to beg at your mercy.
Please take me home. And let me find once more wealth, happiness, love and satisfaction. I know it perturbs me and makes me slightly fidgety but it’s nice and warm in winters. I don’t want to die in winters. Or in a road accident, it’s scary.
Anyway, I think that’s it for tonight. Yes right there! That’s my recluse. You’re free to come in. Have a coffee or something. I see it’s almost morning.
 
**

Comments

suni said…
I am the whimsical me. I allow many thoughts to enter my mind. I keep storing it and time and again I chew it like the cud.
Wham! I am hit by change; and realisation dawns on me that changing places or positions won't make any difference. I need to find me.
Good writing....just a rejoinder to ur thoughts.
March 23, 2015 at 4:50 AM
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