I particularly like the smell of my first cup of coffee at
work. There are fumes of opportunity and eagerness. The first sip of coffee accompanied
by the whimsical aroma of optimism stretches a smile on the face. It makes you
want to close your eyes and believe in a world full of possibilities and
productivity. You can see huge machines with whirling contraptions, churning
out new inventions. This world is new and quite different from the one you live
in. What is same is your imagination of a world. And it’s always beautiful.
There are green pastures, trees, herds of animals, fences, people wearing hats
and a crow somewhere. The machines work in harmony with nature. There is
absolute silence. And then you can open your eyes.
I always believe that a world this positive can be made and
nurtured. It is only a matter of determination and concentration. On things
that matter and not on unnecessary distractions. It is only when one deviates from
the concept of progress does he get influenced by activities that can turn
dangerous and in some cases, heinous.
As I sip the rest of my coffee and walk towards mediocrity
and boredom, I find strength in a breath of fresh air. With a minor
intoxication material in one hand, the other moves towards the mouth to pour in
more optimism. My eyes wander to find beauty, brilliance, growth and
prosperity. They are in return greeted by shame, filth, gore and ugliness. The
other hand now helps in putting a table cloth on my thoughts and understanding.
It puts certain condiments on top namely wealth, happiness, love and
satisfaction.
I move my body back towards responsibilities and function. I
have now been successful in making it completely trained to a certain way of
working. It has now adapted to routine and tradition. It obeys the instructions
and acts according to the task been assigned. I am very pleased to tell you
that now my eye has the ability to not blink, increasing my scope of learning
and observation.
Well I think it is time to retire the mind for activities of
a more humble nature. The sky has changed to a specific dark shade of blue. My
body feels a tiny quiver throughout. It feels as though something in me is
changing.
*
Sons of bitches! Rats! Fucking gutter rats all of you! It’s
quite easy to make statements and act in accordance with the rules of the
society when the society is cordial and partial to your segments. Yes I know
all of you. You’re going to become slaves of corporate greed and die living
your monotonous miserable mind-numbing lives. Calling me names!
No wait I’m sorry. Oh I’m so sorry I completely lost my
mind. I have lost it somewhere in the deep pasts of my own disgusting slumber.
It's hiding somewhere deep, running away from me. Making me blind and flimsy. How
would I understand what my vision has to offer, if I do not have a mind to tell
me what the bloody hell it is? What is it? Tell me! You can’t keep teasing me
for long. I will bring my thoughts alive. Don’t you remember? I’ve trained it. I
can do it!
Is anybody even listening? Yeah I get it. This is where
speech leaves focus and strength. It is no longer engaging enough nor
producing any value. Now it is just shameful, filthy, gory, ugly.
Must think hard. Must concentrate and bring to consciousness
the state of utter uniformity. I do recognise this place but I have forgotten my
identity. There must be a particular reason for my presence here or if what I
see in front of me is really the reality. Am I not the same person anymore? Or
is the same person not there anymore? I do understand I’m alone.
Somebody take me home please. It is right around the corner
I believe. I think two blocks to the left. Yeah right there. Could you please
help me with this bag? I have hurt my shoulder and knees. Thank you so much. Hey
I think I know you. I’ve heard a lot about you. You must surely be hope. I’ve
heard that you are always there somewhere, waiting for a pathetic somewhat like me to
beg at your mercy.
Please take me home. And let me find once more wealth,
happiness, love and satisfaction. I know it perturbs me and makes me slightly fidgety
but it’s nice and warm in winters. I don’t want to die in winters. Or in a road
accident, it’s scary.
Anyway, I think that’s it for tonight. Yes right there!
That’s my recluse. You’re free to come in. Have a coffee or something. I see it’s
almost morning.
**
Comments
Wham! I am hit by change; and realisation dawns on me that changing places or positions won't make any difference. I need to find me.
Good writing....just a rejoinder to ur thoughts.