Number of smiles per day
You know you see people at work. Everyday. Some people you have come to know for a while. And whenever you see them, you smile at them. Nothing too fancy. Just smile at each other and walk about your business.
Then one day, you meet a new person. You talk for some time and inevitably reach a level where enough acquaintance has been made.
Now you have to smile at them in addition to the many number of people you were already smiling at.
I hate that shit.
Almost seen
Have you ever tried reading a message when it's still unread on your notification bar?
Sometimes you can get away with it.
Sometimes, as you're about to read a message, another message pops up and you cannot possibly see what is written in either of these messages.
Now, you're online. And you have to answer both these messages.
Music video life
When I put my headphones on while I'm travelling in a public transport, I imagine my own music video to the particular song I'm listening to. And almost all the time, I'm the hero in the video.
Sometimes I'm the lead dancer of a dance group doing a face off, sometimes I'm driving in a thriller car chase, sometimes I setup a flashmob in the middle of the streets and everyone around is happy.
I'm so happy. I feel I can do anything.
Then, the song goes a bit sour. And so does my music video.
...so does the excitement in my mind.
I stop making my own music video. I stop thinking of myself as the hero.
I take my headphones off. And I face reality.
Super stare
Sometimes I'm so lost in my thoughts that I end up staring at something for really long.
There's no intent. There's just focus. On the thought. Rather than the visual.
Sometimes that something becomes a someone. And it becomes awkward. Because if they happen to look at me while I'm staring at them, things get weird. They don't realise that if they decided to get up from their position, I would still be starting at that very spot and not them.
They don't understand.
The sleeping situation
Coming home after a tiring day, I prefer to spend the rest of the night in front of a TV or laptop screen.
I'd watch one idiotic show after the other, knowing very well that the hypotonic screen in front of me is making plans for me to sleep.
And I do sleep.
It's one of the best sleeps I can ever get. It's almost instantaneous.
But at the back of my sort of awake mind, I know that I need to sleep on the bed, in the bedroom.
So I wake myself up.
I shut the screen, turn off the lights, go to my room, clear the bed, wait, go to the washroom once more, turn off the bedroom lights, put my phone on charging and finally lie on the bed.
Now, I'm not sleepy anymore.
Fake busy
Sometimes I just pick my phone out of my pocket, act as if I've received a call, and start talking.
I do this because at that particular time, I do not want to be disturbed by anybody. So I just blurt out occassional 'yeahs' and 'oks' and just stroll around, not feeling disturbed.
I need the conversation to look authentic. So I need to put my phone on silent first. I do not want the phone ringing out loud and in my ear as I fake talk to my imaginary caller. I also remind myself to add longer sentences, just to make this fake conversation interesting.
Then I get off my fake call and out of my fake busy-ness.
I look at the people around. They don't give a damn about what I do.
I feel stupid.
Walking in lines
You do that? Like whenever you see a road that has some sort of a pattern, may it be checkered boxes or straight parallel lines or even diagonal ones? No?
Well it just makes sense to me. Feels the pattern is there for a reason. Or they would have flattened the surface and made it like roads. Only for pedestrians.
I try whenever I can to walk inside the lines. The way I was taught to stay inside the lines while I was writing anything.
When at times, I'm unable to walk inside these lines, because of a crowd, or a singular person, I feel annoyed. I feel like pushing them out of my way.
I think all this is very normal.
Bidding goodbye to strangers
Often at parties or get-togethers, we tend to make new acquaintances.
If we plan to have a longer scene, these acquaintances can turn to an odd friendship.
But mind it, these people were complete strangers to us a few hours ago.
So when we finally plan to leave, we have to bid our goodbyes to them.
If through your conversation, there was mild touching involved, like a pat or a clap or a nudge, I find it ok to give the person a gentle side hug. This signifies that we've done these conversations a lot of times at lot of parties and it's all chill.
If through the conversation, there was no touching involved, I do an awkward handshake in the end. It is a sort of a leaning forward handshake. It signifies that I loved the conversation and would want to do it again. If ever.
I leave the weird half salute goodbye for the people I talked to, probably in intervals, while getting drinks or food, and just happened to see them while I was leaving.
This doesn't signify anything.
Just that I tend to overthink sometimes.
***
*mind talker - a person who talks to himself but isn't considered crazy because he does it all in his mind.
You know you see people at work. Everyday. Some people you have come to know for a while. And whenever you see them, you smile at them. Nothing too fancy. Just smile at each other and walk about your business.
Then one day, you meet a new person. You talk for some time and inevitably reach a level where enough acquaintance has been made.
Now you have to smile at them in addition to the many number of people you were already smiling at.
I hate that shit.
Almost seen
Have you ever tried reading a message when it's still unread on your notification bar?
Sometimes you can get away with it.
Sometimes, as you're about to read a message, another message pops up and you cannot possibly see what is written in either of these messages.
Now, you're online. And you have to answer both these messages.
Music video life
When I put my headphones on while I'm travelling in a public transport, I imagine my own music video to the particular song I'm listening to. And almost all the time, I'm the hero in the video.
Sometimes I'm the lead dancer of a dance group doing a face off, sometimes I'm driving in a thriller car chase, sometimes I setup a flashmob in the middle of the streets and everyone around is happy.
I'm so happy. I feel I can do anything.
Then, the song goes a bit sour. And so does my music video.
...so does the excitement in my mind.
I stop making my own music video. I stop thinking of myself as the hero.
I take my headphones off. And I face reality.
Super stare
Sometimes I'm so lost in my thoughts that I end up staring at something for really long.
There's no intent. There's just focus. On the thought. Rather than the visual.
Sometimes that something becomes a someone. And it becomes awkward. Because if they happen to look at me while I'm staring at them, things get weird. They don't realise that if they decided to get up from their position, I would still be starting at that very spot and not them.
They don't understand.
The sleeping situation
Coming home after a tiring day, I prefer to spend the rest of the night in front of a TV or laptop screen.
I'd watch one idiotic show after the other, knowing very well that the hypotonic screen in front of me is making plans for me to sleep.
And I do sleep.
It's one of the best sleeps I can ever get. It's almost instantaneous.
But at the back of my sort of awake mind, I know that I need to sleep on the bed, in the bedroom.
So I wake myself up.
I shut the screen, turn off the lights, go to my room, clear the bed, wait, go to the washroom once more, turn off the bedroom lights, put my phone on charging and finally lie on the bed.
Now, I'm not sleepy anymore.
Fake busy
Sometimes I just pick my phone out of my pocket, act as if I've received a call, and start talking.
I do this because at that particular time, I do not want to be disturbed by anybody. So I just blurt out occassional 'yeahs' and 'oks' and just stroll around, not feeling disturbed.
I need the conversation to look authentic. So I need to put my phone on silent first. I do not want the phone ringing out loud and in my ear as I fake talk to my imaginary caller. I also remind myself to add longer sentences, just to make this fake conversation interesting.
Then I get off my fake call and out of my fake busy-ness.
I look at the people around. They don't give a damn about what I do.
I feel stupid.
Walking in lines
You do that? Like whenever you see a road that has some sort of a pattern, may it be checkered boxes or straight parallel lines or even diagonal ones? No?
Well it just makes sense to me. Feels the pattern is there for a reason. Or they would have flattened the surface and made it like roads. Only for pedestrians.
I try whenever I can to walk inside the lines. The way I was taught to stay inside the lines while I was writing anything.
When at times, I'm unable to walk inside these lines, because of a crowd, or a singular person, I feel annoyed. I feel like pushing them out of my way.
I think all this is very normal.
Bidding goodbye to strangers
Often at parties or get-togethers, we tend to make new acquaintances.
If we plan to have a longer scene, these acquaintances can turn to an odd friendship.
But mind it, these people were complete strangers to us a few hours ago.
So when we finally plan to leave, we have to bid our goodbyes to them.
If through your conversation, there was mild touching involved, like a pat or a clap or a nudge, I find it ok to give the person a gentle side hug. This signifies that we've done these conversations a lot of times at lot of parties and it's all chill.
If through the conversation, there was no touching involved, I do an awkward handshake in the end. It is a sort of a leaning forward handshake. It signifies that I loved the conversation and would want to do it again. If ever.
I leave the weird half salute goodbye for the people I talked to, probably in intervals, while getting drinks or food, and just happened to see them while I was leaving.
This doesn't signify anything.
Just that I tend to overthink sometimes.
***
*mind talker - a person who talks to himself but isn't considered crazy because he does it all in his mind.
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